


Hey Kenma

by jadedgalaxies (Emeraldxoxo)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AI-Kenma, Alternate Universe, Angst, Artificial Intelligence, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, can you fall in love with ur iPhone?, i live for tsukkihina friendship, more to come probably - Freeform, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeraldxoxo/pseuds/jadedgalaxies
Summary: Slight AU. Tsukishima forces Hinata to buy a new phone and suddenly, Hinata finds himself inexplicably falling for his phone's AI that really seems to have a mind of its own. Kenhina





	

**Author's Note:**

> hahah I don't know how i came up with this but i love it and it's beautiful 
> 
> also, pro-tip, don't go falling in love with your phone

This was not how Hinata had planned his Saturday to go. He and Kageyama _were_ going to work on recruitment posters with Yachi since the team was in serious need of first years but _here he was_ in a cell phone store with Tsukishima next to him. They had never gotten along really in their first year but as they got older, they formed an uneasy friendship.

And Tsukishima was _downright sick_ of Hinata’s crappy phone. Hinata always got an earful from the taller male when Tsukishima’s texts were lost/never delivered/and or Hinata’s phone just deleted portions of his texts leaving misunderstandings in its destructive wake. So Tsukishima had convinced (AKA forced Hinata against his will) him to get a new phone.

Honestly Hinata liked his flip phone, since the one time Tsukishima lent him his iPhone Hinata’s brain almost exploded just trying to find the message app. But… Hinata figured he wasn’t going to be leaving the store without an iPhone in hand.

The sales woman waved at them and Hinata stiffened. What was he supposed to say? Tsukishima rolled his eyes and directed him towards the iPhones. Tsukishima quietly explained the difference in models – most of it flew over Hinata’s head – somewhat getting annoyed when Hinata merely stood there staring at him.

“Hinata,” Tsukishima snapped, thrusting a phone towards his face, “just pick one.”

Panicked, completely out of his element, Hinata picked up a phone and was _immediately_ worried he’d drop it and break it.

“Tsukishima,” he whisper-yelled, “I’m going to _break_ this phone if I have it!”

For a long, silent second, Tsukishima stared at him before rolling his eyes so hard Hinata was worried for his health. “Buy an _Otter-box_ _™_ ,” he said.

“A _what_?”

“Oh my god,” Tsukishima sighed, overly-dramatic and signaled the woman over. “Do you have a 64GB iPhone 6s?” She tapped away on her iPad and Hinata blinked before delicately setting the phone down that he was hold and whispered:

“What is 64GB?”

He’s pretty sure Tsukishima was just going to ignore him from here on since Tsukishima ‘gently’ pushed Hinata to the side.

She nodded. “Yes, in Gold or Black.”

Tsukishima made another loud sighing sound and turned to Hinata. For a good fifteen seconds, Hinata wasn’t sure what exactly Tsukishima wanted from him until Tsukishima cleared his throat. “O—oohh um… gold?”

“Excellent!” the saleswoman cheered, and exactly ten minutes later, they were out of the store, Hinata’s wallet empty and crying, fitted with a new iPhone and an otter-box. Tsukishima, out of the kindness of his heart, bought them some fries to share and helped him set up his new phone.

He outfitted the iPhone in a black otter-box and handed Hinata the device. “Put your thumbprint in,” Tsukishima ordered, popping a fry into his mouth.

“Uwaaaaahh!” Hinata exclaimed, utterly fascinated by the technology in his hands. Biting his tongue, he meticulously worked at lining up his thumb on the small, white circle. The next few steps were assisted by Tsukishima (making an apple account etc.) and Hinata stared at the bright white screen for a long moment. “Tsukishima, what’s Siri?”

“Do you live under a rock or something?” Tsukishima asked, eating a few more fries. Hinata pouted. “I get that all that runs through your brain is volleyball but _seriously_? Siri is a part of your phone that you can talk to and ask questions like, what’s zero divided by zero? It’s a pretty useless feature.”

Hinata pursed his lips. Ignoring his ‘friend’, he set up ‘Hey Siri’ and excitedly said into the phone ‘Hey Siri’ the phone enough times for the device to register his voice. He picked the male Siri (bless his gay little heart) and put his new phone down to snag some of the fries from the mountain Tsukishima made.

* * *

Kageyama was not as impressed with Hinata’s new phone as Hinata was. Kageyama, who’s phone admittedly was barely any better than Hinata’s old one, did not see any benefit to texting Tsukishima. He would rather text Yamaguchi, who was the official Team Captain, since whatever Yamaguchi had to say was far more important than what Tsukishima had to say. Tsukishima was not amused by that statement.

Hinata had found some volleyball ball wallpapers for his phone and was slowly getting to learn the mechanics of the device. While he chattered on with Yachi about his phone, Kageyama was trying to get his sets accustomed to the new talent on the team.

“Use emojis for your contacts,” Yachi suggested. Hinata put a heart next to Yachi’s name, a poop and volleyball emoji next to Kageyama’s, a moon and skull with crossbones for Tsukishima and the sunglasses emoji for Yamaguchi. He decided he’d give the rest of his contacts emoji’s later.

He called Kageyama over to show him the addition to his name and Kageyama stared at the emojis for a long time with a furrowed brow. “I get the volleyball but why is there a smiling chocolate pudding next to my name?”

Tsukishima burst out laughing and didn’t stop when Kageyama shot daggers at him. Hinata smiled, patting Kageyama’s shoulder. “Never change, Kageyama-kun, never change.”

“Huuunh? You got something to say to me, Hinata-boke!” Kageyama snapped, though he was pacified when Yachi reminded them of the, quite frankly terrified, first years. They scuttled back to practice and Hinata made a note never to let Kageyama figure out that it was a poop emoji.

Once practice was officially over and the team said their goodbyes, Hinata biked home, excited to play with his new phone. He ran to his room, barely hearing his mom yell to him dinner was in an hour and plopped down on his bed.

“Hey Siri,” Hinata said, slightly winded from excitement, and the phone blinked to life in his hands. “How are you?”

“Very well, thank you,” his phone said in a slightly bored tone. Hinata gawked at his phone. Did male Siris always sound like this? He sounded so _human_ that he was a little off-put. Nevertheless, he figured this is what Siri always sounded like so, no harm no foul.

“Cool!” he chirped, though not into the phone and thought of his next question. “What did you do today?” he asked after clicking the microphone button.

“Just recycling my Mac’s aluminum, steel, copper, gold and silver. You can do this too, at any Apple store,” Siri said, his voice a little too memorizing for Hinata’s comfort. The response was generic enough, so Hinata figured that the voice was also normal.

Hinata pondered what he would say next. “Do you want to know what I did today?”

“I have very few wants, Shouyo,” said his phone and all of the sudden his mouth felt _very_ dry.

Nervously, Hinata clicked the microphone again. “What do you want?”

“Searching web for: what do you want.”

“Aughhh,” Hinata groaned, clicking the home button. That was discouraging. He pursed his lips, tapping the screen while he thought. Oh. “Hey Siri?” It flashed to life. “Do you like your name?”

It seemed like his phone had a difficult time processing his question before he answered, in a much softer voice, “No… I’d much rather be called Kenma.”

Hinata’s mouth parted in a silent gasp. “I… okay.”

Just to make sure he wasn’t crazy, Hinata said, “Hey Kenma,” without clicking the microphone and the Siri function turned on. “Gwahh,” he muttered.

“Gwahh?” Kenma repeated and Hinata dropped his phone. It’s official, his iPhone had an _incredible_ AI.

He was going to have to ask Tsukishima if his iPhone was like that.

**Author's Note:**

> you do not know how awkward it is to ask you phone questions posing as Hinata - some of these responses are straight from the phone, others are made up to grow the Kenma-AI . I hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
